Vos, Fitzgerald, Walker all make today’s edition of The Onion

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The Onion has jumped on the Wisconsin Legislature’s maneuvers today with three stories: Wisconsin GOP Votes to Dissolve State Rather than Let Dems Have It; Wisconsin Legislature Weakens Incoming Dem Gov by Restricting His Access to Food, Water, Shelter; and Scott Walker Changes Locks on Wisconsin Governor’s Office (headline only, no story).

Ryan now adding “No leaks” to end of grace at family dinners (satire)

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After the release of a private conversation between Ryan and other GOP leaders, he’s decided to add “no leaks” to the end of grace at family dinners: “Bless this food to our bodies, Lord, and let us hold you in our hearts. In Jesus name we pray. No leaks. Amen.” > Above Average (comedy)